im going to be in a ton of trouble for going outside to smoke. o h god ohgod im crewed.

talk to me, tell me stories about yourself so i can forget

please i need a distraction

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if you remember me drunk from a while, you know i wish for you to speak with me. Tell me something, a story, a memory. talk to me

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i have this odd fantasy of saying to myself 30 days clean, but that’s a joke, I havent passed 7 days in around 5 years… well I probably have but still, every week it’s the same thing, i go out i don’t drink, i dont drink, dont drink for 5/6 days then bam, something hits me and i fuck it, i’m going to get drunk and theres nothing i can do about it. damn, i really wanted to stay sober..

Well at least it’s not every day, so i’m actually improving. which is good. i need to breathe, and calm down and everything for once has been good, i’m content, but not content with misery. This past year, i can honestly say i haven’t been depressed, which i only found out recently when a depressed friend’s thoughts didn’t apply to me, his words seem familiar to something i would have thought a while ago, but i didn’t agree with them. I think i’m actually okay now.

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Anonymous: Hey it's me your drunken admirer. Also I'm a girl hope that doesn't bother u. My head's underwater and I'm not breathing fine. <3 Ps sorry if this is rude.

why on earth would gender bother me, i don’t care what between your legs as long as you are a good human being and kind towards me. Also don’t be silly you are by no means rude, i love hearing from people, especially you. i’m sorry you feel that way, i hope you resurface for some air soon, no one should get used to being underwater, you spent enough time under all the waves and reality becomes difficult to get back to. <3

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oh god oh god what have i done, i’ve invited myself to a party and now awaiting rejection, though she’s too nice to say no, so i’ll go cause I’m busy tomorrow and most of the week and she asked to borrow my cutting tools and tonight’s the only time i have to give them to her, and oh god i’ve invited myself to a party i wasn’t invited to, and they all hate me and will hate me for crashing it.  .. or she may say no fuck you and that would be better actually if she said no then i wouldn’t hate myself as much.

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